When I finish telling you this story, you won’t believe me. But I am not exaggerating one bit. I’m telling you the whole truth. I told what happened to me to a friend and gave her the same disclaimer. She was shocked. She didn’t believe me. For a moment I actually couldn’t believe it happened too, but what happened on that day confirmed for me that I made the right decision to move to Dallas to create that which doesn’t exist…an Inner Beauty Entity.
This is what happened…
During the past Christmas break, a lady walked up to me and said, “Can I bless you?” I looked at her at first with a confused face. But because I have a routine of speaking my mantra which is… “amazing things will happen to me today and people will give unto the vision that speaks to me,” I immediately said “YES!” She then proceeded to hand me a hundred-dollar bill.
“Oh thank you! I appreciate this kindness towards me,” I said.
She replied, “You’re so beautiful. God wanted me to give that to you and bless you in this season.”
I responded, “Well thank you. I need it. I just moved here from Atlanta and moving can add unexpected expenses.”
She asked me why I moved. I explained to her that I wrote a book about my struggles with body image issues and how I overcame them. I explained that I’m seeking to build a non-profit agency to give others the tools and resources needed to combat the mental health disturbances derived from the pressures of trying to measure up to the standard of “beauty.” She looked at me in disbelief. “Are you being for real right now,” she asked? Her excitement sparked my excitement and I started to explain the statistics of what’s occurring with teenagers all around the nation. She stopped me.
“Oh, you just don’t understand. You don’t have to explain because I know. My daughter has been struggling with body issues all of her life. I know the stats all too well. Can I please have your number?”
I immediately offered her my number, my website, and told her that I have extra books at home. I told her to check out my website so that she could be familiar with my story for her daughter. I explained to her that she could contact me after taking a look and I could bring the books to her for free. I simply wanted her daughter to have the tools needed to succeed over her body dissatisfactions. To make a long story short, the lady was so excited that she gave me her address and insisted that I come over to drop off the books the next day. She said that she could tell that I could help her daughter.
“Please, just come to my house to meet her tomorrow and bring the book,” she said. “You’re so beautiful. I know she will love you.”
So… I did.
I pulled up to an expensive brand-new beautiful neighborhood of light brown large brick houses. Some areas of the neighborhood simply had enormous lots cemented on the ground with a sizable picture of the house in front saying, “coming attraction.” My GPS informed me that my destination was on the left. I pulled up to one of the beautiful homes. I parked my car on the side instead of in the driveway. I noticed that I’d received a text message while driving that said: “We’re so excited to meet you. My daughter needs this help.” She revealed to me that her daughter had been institutionalized for struggling with bulimia – an eating disorder. She would eat an excessive amount of food in front of others and act as if everything was ok, but then go to her private bathroom and make herself vomit everything up in fear of gaining weight.
I walked into the massive house and suddenly, the light brown bricks that covered the house on the outside were painted white on parts of the house inside. The house was beautiful. I entered into a small foyer area to be greeted by a very modern and contemporary florescent filled kitchen. It was a sight to behold.
The lady who gave me the $100 bill, the one who insisted that I come over to her home was so excited to see me. “Look, at you! I’m so glad you’re here.” She screamed her daughter’s name towards the staircase for her daughter to come down. As I looked around the home that looked like the reveal of a perfectly decorated home -makeover show…(literally, it was that perfect)…a beautiful young teenager with porcelain skin slowly walked down the stair with picture-perfect natural red lips. Her eyes seemed watery. Her hair bounced as she walked down the stairs towards me, and she smiled. I handed her an autographed copy of my book and asked if I could read the special message to her aloud. (Oh, you know I wrote a message as if I was an angel who just left heaven assigned to speak life into her soul…LOL!) It was a special moment.
What happened next was unexpected.
The mom, the young lady, and I sat at the kitchen table and chatted. The mom did most of the talking. She reminded me of me in many ways whereby she was just so animated. Every story was filled with energy and she was full of energy. I learned all about the mom…her past life, her new life, trials, and fears. We laughed. I even learned more about the daughter and her obsession with feeling insecure. When the daughter finished talking, the mom said then said (referring to me), “She has a story of body image too! But look at her. Isn’t she beautiful?”
That’s when I interjected to tell my story and said, “Well that’s just it. I wanted to be beautiful my whole life and that was my goal. But the year I graduated from college, I developed a skin condition, and it devastated my world. My dermatologist described it as “lesions” on my face. Suddenly, the mom stopped me. “Wait, what?” I proceeded to tell more of my story, but when I saw the look of disgust on her face, I asked her… “did you not go to the website?” (which I reemphasized to her the day before via text). I then said, “Yea! That’s my story. I had to overcome a skin-condition, something that wasn’t hidden. I had to fight through the… ”
I stopped talking. The look on the mom’s face reminded me of the look (wait…small spoiler alert for those who haven’t read the book)…reminded me of the look on the dermatologist's face who diagnosed me with having lesions. She literally looked at me as if I still had a skin condition. I quickly finished up what I was saying and she basically said in so many words with her actions… “Thank you, but, no thank you.” She stood up, pushed her cushion white tall chair back with her back leg. She then pushed the chair back up to the table with her hand, walked around it, and kindly stated that she needs to quickly take a bath. She walked towards the foyer of her home, opened the door, and escorted me out of her house. I wasn’t thinking much of it until as I walked out and turned back (to say thank you) – still close to the front door, she slammed it and all I heard was a click, click, click, click. She locked every lock.
I walked to the car confused. I had such an uncomfortable feeling in my soul that I had never experienced before. Music started playing as I cranked up the car and I quickly turned it off to drive in silence. Was I just kicked out of someone’s home? And was it because I told her that I had a skin condition? Didn’t she invite me over to help her daughter? I reflected on all of the times she called me beautiful, so I know I didn’t look …quote on quote… “ugly” to her. Then the last question hit me…
How is it that I’m still being treated like I still have a skin condition and I don’t! Was this mom that shallow? Oh wait…Chara…why are you surprised? It’s the whole reason why you quit your job to build an inner beauty brand/agency. You see the need. You saw the need. Ain't nothing change.
YET!
Y’all, this story is too much to just end here. Are you ready to unpack this story with me? I know it seems hard to believe but believe it. It’s true. Let’s unpack together. If you have thoughts, email me at Chara@CharasStory.com. I will place some of your views in my next post and add more of my reflections.
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